


Faux

by Lelline



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Origin Story, Fake AH Crew, GTA AU, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Multi, Team Building Exercise, Team Lil Britain, b team, bad politics, gender-neutral Jack, lot of world building, might be a oneshot, possibly Jeremy/Gavin/Michael
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 18:44:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5881531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lelline/pseuds/Lelline
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeremy just rolls with the punches, because sometimes you just need to let a bunch of strange people convince you to betray the biggest crime syndicate in the most dangerous city in what's left of a war torn America.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Faux

**Author's Note:**

> Will only continue this is I get enough positive feedback. Really feel like this could be a big project and I'm not committing to it yet. Visit [my Tumblr for more random FAHC stuff (mostly Team Lil Britain)](failten.tumblr.com)

It had happened in a surprisingly low key way, timed just perfectly to match the timing of a celebrity marriage, an international sporting event and a few tech announcements. There was too much for the news to talk about, and while the renaming of parliament was bizarre, it seemed benign.

The next change seemed positive at first. They withdrew from the Middle East and legalized more drugs. The prison populations began to shrink, and the sudden influx of new workers into the workforce made the job market even worse than it had been before. The only place still hiring in most cities was the army.

And no one asked why the government was still looking for soldiers when there were no wars to be fought.

The stricter laws against illegal aliens seemed harsh, but many families were more preoccupied with keeping their own cupboards full. It was put to a vote, but despite vocal protests and independent poll results, the laws were agreed on with a surprisingly large majority.

Afterwards, political experts questioned the results. But no one listened.

The curfew was met with some resistance, but with the increase in drug use and the release of so many former inmates, the media had whipped up a frenzy. The more traditionally minded folks were afraid, the people who toed the line between being sensible and free spirited resisted, but eventually were cowed by the reappearance on the army, this time on home soil.

Feed shortages began, hitting the poor and the dark skinned first. It crippled whole towns, people only surviving due to their banding together. The oppressed, the poor, the undesirables all rose up together to survive, in spite of what the president wanted.

Then the final blow was struck. The drug laws returned, now stricter than ever. Those who had turned to drugs to take the edge off their hunger were at risk.

But the people were not so weak as to fall. And the soldiers themselves were faced with the possibility of their families being the next target.

The revolution lasted three years, ending with the death of most politicians and a distinct lack of real government. Sure, some old white guy sat in the office and made grand gestures to the rest of the world, but the people had learned not to believe in a smiling leader.

But this meant that the government, the police, and even the army was left powerless. New forces stepped up in their place. The gangs, the drug dealers, the underground seized control of whole cities.

For men like Jeremy and Matt, who had just been teenagers when the war ended, their career choices were simple. They could work a normal job, get a simple wage, and keep their heads down.

Or they could join a crew and make a killing with the new way of living.

Matt was smart, but a little too cynical. He’d grown up in one of the communities that had been hit the hardest by the food shortages. You could see it when he took his shirt off, even at the best of times you could trace his ribs. He’d grown tall despite it all, but he he remembered that long winter he’d spent as a teenager, trying his hardest to help his parents survive.

Jeremy on the other hand had been too close to the battlefront as a child. He’d never gone without food, but he had killed a man before he had really became a man. Despite that, he wanted to believe in people. He wanted a family, though he’d learned by now not to expect people to be there when he needed them. By the time he was twenty, the only person he trusted was Matt, and they’d only met through a failed bank heist.

So, as soon as they had enough money, Jeremy and Matt left their hometowns and headed for the most infamous city in the country. It's a place well known for its rulers, a bunch of men known only as the AH crew, which is a little ironic since the only thing anyone knows about them is that they rule Achievement City.

It’s not something anyone ever talks about, but anyone who knows anything about the inner workings of the city knows that there’s a reason why the city is so full of crime. The cops, the district attorney, the judges, and even the news outlets go so far to hide the truth that it becomes all the more obvious.

The AH Crew own the town. The AH Crew own everyone inside of the town. There’s even rumors of the Mayor being one of its founding members.

There’s no other crews in town. While the police never seem interested in catching the real men in charge of the city, any other crime is met with swift punishment. Outsiders sometimes come in, trying to claim some of the city, but the AH Crew have an iron tight grip on it all.

The only job opportunities for a hacker and a sniper in the city is to join the B-Team.

It’s still a good gig, with their leader Lindsay ruling over them with a loose fist. She is the best thing that ever happened to them, or to the others, guiding them along with a sharp smile and an even sharper mind. Every one of her underlings was handpicked to help the AH crew stay Achievement City’s worst kept secret. Kdin was in charge of editing security camera and news footage, keeping the AH-ers off the screens. Caleb is in charge of communication, especially with crews in other cities. Finally there was Matt and Jeremy. Matt was the man in charge of heist tech, from signal jammers to code breakers. Jeremy was the muscle and the cleanup guy, in charge of tying up loose ends.

It wasn’t what he wanted to do. He’d known from the start that he would end up killing people who didn’t deserve it, but it was hard doing it constantly, and he was not looking forward to the day he’d have to kill a child.

They do fake jobs to give police a reason to look the other way during AH crew heists, they provide backup during turf battles and they keep the outside world from noticing their corrupt little city. Sometimes they even manage to snag some money during their jobs, sometimes they get a taste of the rich life.

But they’re the B Team and they will always be the B Team. The AH Crew are untouchable.

Still, there’s people on the outside that seem to think that there has to be a way to dethrone the crew.

Jeremy is sent out alone one day, going to investigate and kill off a new crew starting on the fringes of town. It’s a routine job, the sort of thing where he almost brings Matt with him, not for backup but just for clean up. He packs light, bringing just a sniper rifle, a fresh case of bullets, a bullet proof vest, some bags and a sharp knife. He doesn’t plan for any real fight, that area isn’t made for a gunfight and Jeremy knows how to kill off a group of men without them having the chance to fire back.

It's a beautiful day out, so he takes his hat and sunglasses, not wanting to feel the heat of the sun on his neck as he waits for a chance to strike. His targets are embarrassingly easy to find, the group apparently working out of a two story house like they were some frat house instead of a wannabe crime syndicate. There are flashes of movement inside, at least three men, though they get more animated as a pizza truck makes its way up their wide, suburban road. The wind is just right for him to smell the hot pepperoni and cheese, and his stomach rumbles. If there's any chance of him getting a bite of that pizza he’s having it.

The man who gets the door is thin and excited, paying for their order and talking in a loud voice, even as Jeremy can’t make out the words from the distance. He looks flashy and over the top, glinting with gold like some sort of egyptian relic. The man isn’t being careful, stepping out completely as he tries to juggle four boxes of pizza and his wallet. It would be far too easy for Jeremy to just pull the trigger.

But then the others inside would know there was a sniper nearby. And he’d have to kill the poor delivery man as well, just to be on the safe side. There was no need to take the risk of things going bad, and there was no need for extra deaths.

He already had too much blood on his hands.

There was something suddenly nagging at Jeremy’s instincts, like he’d forgotten something important. It wasn’t that though, it was more like that feeling you got when someone was staring at the back of your head.

The irony was that he was too busy wondering about the sensation to hear the footsteps behind him until it was far too late.

There was a sudden movement to the side of Jeremy and he instinctively rolled the other way, barely avoiding a grab by a man in a mask. It was some muscle, clad in leather and jeans and wearing a cheap halloween mask like some 80’s horror flick murderer.

“Are you trying to be like Jason Voorhees, or Michael Myers?” He wasn’t sure if those names were right, but it didn’t matter, he was just trying to distract the other man long enough to get a plan. Jeremy couldn’t get a decent shot this close to his assailant, but he still tried for his knife. A good slash and a shove might get the man to fall off the roof. He was taller but he wasn’t necessarily stronger or faster. Jeremy was used to fighting men taller than him.

“Actually, I was aiming for something closer to Hannibal Lecter.” The other man said slowly, voice surprisingly cultured. He must have noticed Jeremy reaching for his knife, since he had a pistol out in moments. “You’re coming with me.”

Jeremy had no choice but to comply. This close range, he’d be able to stab the other man but not without gaining a few bullet holes himself. He dropped his gun and followed.

He was going to be killed.

He should have brought Matt.

His captor had no shame, leading him out into the street before they headed into the house, like they were just two friends heading home together for xbox and pizza. The masked man never wavered though, his stance and grip on his gun leaving Jeremy no room to fight back.

The door opened before they reached in, showing a bemused looking brunette. They were holding a two litre of soda, an easy smile on their face. “You found our unexpected guest?”

“Get the others. He’s AH Crew.”

The smile faded off the other’s face, but they quickly went to grab the others.

The house is nearly empty inside, the living room comprised of a row of milk crates and a small tv with an xbox. There are no decorations, no pictures, only a few game cases and an empty pop can.

They go past the makeshift couch to the living room, which has fared slightly better by being outfitted by the kind of fold up plastic chairs you’d normally associate with an impromptu neighbourhood BBQ than a family meal. The pizza boxes are right there, with a few slices missing, but it doesn’t seem like anyone planned to eat there, lacking plates or cups.

It's becoming painfully obvious that they are a new crew, and that they’re underprepared to face Jeremy’s bosses. And that sucks on so many levels. Jeremy was going to be killed by a few greenhorns who were playing at a family in the suburbs.

Still, when a new man steps forward, something in Jeremy’s instincts tells him to pay attention. Its no one he’s ever seen before, just an older guy with a cocky grin on his face and tired eyes. They size Jeremy up and seem to judge him as unimportant, like this man dressed in jeans and a t-shirt is someone respectable. “So you’re AH Crew, huh? You’re a little short for a stormtrooper.”

“He’s gotta be B-Team.” The brunette from the doorway said, sounding a little worried. They seem to be the only one who cares that he’s part of the scariest group in town. “The others would know who he is.”

“Should I kill him?” The man from the roof asked, shifting his weight as if he was bored. He adjusts his mask, but doesn’t remove it. Instead, it just now shows his eyes better, two deep sapphire pools of nothingness. “Or should I let you-know-who do it? He’d enjoy it.”

“It’s too early for this.” Their leader let out a sigh, not losing any of his posture even as he sounded like a tired, whiney slob. He wasn’t what he appeared to be, and regardless of the fact only the masked man seemed armed, something told Jeremy they might not be as green as they look. Indeed, the other man did not even glancing up as a blonde stepped inside. “If we kill him we’ll be opening up a bigger can of worms than we can handle. What do you think, Gav?”

“Then let’s see first if he wants to join.” The blonde spoke quietly, british accent a little surprising. There weren’t many people choosing to move to North America these days. For a foriegner to move here, they either had to be interested in the underworld or they had to be insanely specialized enough to earn their hazard pay. His voice was familiar still, and he had to have been the one to get the pizza at the door, but he had changed since then. When he’d answered the door he’d worn these gaudy golden sunglasses and gold chains, but here in the dim light he was just wearing his navy button up and an uneasy look.

“Fuck it.” Their leader pulled up a chair, sitting beside Jeremy with a lazy grin. He was suddenly looking charming and polished, even in his sloppy clothes. He had to be damn near unstoppable in a tux. “You obviously know the AH Crew.”

“Obviously.” Jeremy wasn’t going to fork up information, knowing he would be dead the moment he started, but he was curious as to how they’d try to convert him. Without even trying, they’d made him wonder at who they were, and what they were planning.

“Well, we’re going to take their place.”

Jeremy scoffed at the thought, almost all his curiosity fading in lieu of his sudden urge to cringe. Because that sounded like a terrible plan. “You mean you’re planning on taking them down? You don’t even have real furniture.”

“No.” The blonde cut in, sounding a little sour. “You’re not listening.”

“We’re going to Take. Their. Place.” The older man repeated. “We’re going to become the new AH Crew.”

“It's not like anyone knows who they are anyways.” The brunette said from the sidelines. They gave Jeremy a challenging grin. “Who would notice if they were replaced.”

“So that’s it? That’s the plan?” Jeremy frowned, looking around at his captors. This was beginning to feel like a weird drug induced dream. “You’re a Fake AH Crew.”

“You could call us that.” They smiled, arms crossing across their chest. They were dressed in a tacky hawaiian shirt and shorts, and for the life of him Jeremy still couldn’t tell if it was a man or a woman or neither.

The blonde was grinning a little now, looking like he was waiting for Jeremy to clue in to how brilliant their plan was. His eyes were far too green, and his nose was far too sharp, but he still seemed to have a boyish charm.

This was not a good idea. This was the sort of thing that made you the punchline to morbid jokes and Jeremy should just agree to it all and then turn around at the first opportunity and just kill them and get his job done. It was just four people operating out of some 3 bedroom, 2 bath home and they didn’t even have a couch. No matter how handsome the blonde was, it wasn’t worth dying over.

But if Jeremy had been a smart man, or a cautious man, he would have stayed away from the city to begin with.

“So what’s the plan?”


End file.
